(MON)DAY #19 BEING HUMAN

"Human beings are awful creatures."

At some point, because of someone's comments or behaviour, that thought has probably crossed your mind. God knows, it's certainly crossed mine when I had to deal with a self-centred bridezilla (maybe she was truly just having a bad day).

Still, such encounters grate your nerves and other times, events like that of 3 year old Aylan Kurdi make you despair. It makes you question human nature - are we intrinsically good or evil?

(AP Photo/DHA, File)

Recently however, I've discovered a new Facebook community that helps to remind me that there are good people out there. Humans of Singapore (our Lion City's own version of Humans of New York) has helped to restore my faith in mankind and restore hope that Singapore too can progress to be a more caring society.

Here are some of my favourite humans featured so far. Some of them are folks who have gone through incredible hardship yet maintain an optimistic perspective. Some of them radiate goodness and selflessness. It is both inspiring and comforting so I'd like to shed the spotlight on this community and invite you to follow the page to provide perspective and hope in your own daily life.

To the folks who run this amazing initiative, thank you for giving me hope by shining a light on these unsung heroes. It gives me reason to believe that old mandarin saying:

人之初，性本善。 People are born good.   Even if we sometimes lose our way.

(MON)DAY #9 Thanks

I turned 27 last Sunday. My celebration was low-key - good food with good company. Yet the realisation that I'm undeniably in my late 20s has made me feel a little anxious; when I was 21, I had an image of what I would be and have at age 27. These days I find myself quite focused on righting what I don't have together and getting stressed about how far away I am from what I think I should be.

Thankfully, I have good friends. One of them gave me a gift - a gratitude journal.

My Gratitude Journal (Thanks to @rynthemean)

The practice of keeping a gratitude journal isn't new - Oprah's been doing it for years - and easy to understand. The rationale: keeping record of things that you're grateful for, forces you to make a conscious effort to appreciate the positives in your lives. It's a reminder that things aren't all gloom and doom and that there are others out there who contribute to your life and happiness.

From Oprah.com

I'm not really sure how this will work for me, but I've decided to give it a go, starting with one of my favourite things in the world - food.

As I penned down some of my favourite dishes, I genuinely did feel a little less blue about the weekend ending. I felt thankful for having experienced these gastronomical treats and I savoured memories of my first visit to Meat Liquor in the UK (happy to report they'll be opening up in Singapore this month and I've an entire cookbook of their recipes to try), evening dinners when my mother made delicious oxtail stew, and the joy of chocolate...

If you're interested in getting started on a gratitude journal, here are some of the best practices that may help you reap the most rewards:

1. Make a conscious decision to be happier and grateful. You shouldn't be listing these things down just for the sake of it.
2. The longest list doesn't win. It's not a contest where the person that has the longest list wins. Listing down 1 or 3 things that ring true and deep is better than 10. 
3. Not all things are equally impactful. Apparently, focusing on people to whom you're grateful is better than focusing on things, and unexpected surprises (good ones of course) tend to result in stronger levels of gratitude. 
4. No stress, you don't have to do it every day. Once or twice a week works just as well, since you're less likely to 'burn out'. 

The journal I received has a bunch of lists you can complete or empty pages for you to write freely. You can get something similar from Kikki.K here. Alternatively, just grab an empty notebook and start!

For those who prefer something digital, you can try out an online gratitude journal Thnx4 by the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center. It comes with email reminders and you have the option of keeping it all private. You should know that using Thnx4 means that the data you provide may be used by the centre in their research on social and emotional well-being, which hopefully means more tips and tools for the rest of us to lead happier lives. Participation is voluntary and your data is kept anonymous, but you can opt out at any time!

Not for you? Then maybe try out mobile app Get Gratitude (available for $1.99 on the App Store)  or Happier (free for download here on the Play Store).

Fingers crossed on giving thanks!