(MON)DAY #9 Thanks

I turned 27 last Sunday. My celebration was low-key - good food with good company. Yet the realisation that I'm undeniably in my late 20s has made me feel a little anxious; when I was 21, I had an image of what I would be and have at age 27. These days I find myself quite focused on righting what I don't have together and getting stressed about how far away I am from what I think I should be.

Thankfully, I have good friends. One of them gave me a gift - a gratitude journal.

My Gratitude Journal (Thanks to @rynthemean)

The practice of keeping a gratitude journal isn't new - Oprah's been doing it for years - and easy to understand. The rationale: keeping record of things that you're grateful for, forces you to make a conscious effort to appreciate the positives in your lives. It's a reminder that things aren't all gloom and doom and that there are others out there who contribute to your life and happiness.

From Oprah.com

I'm not really sure how this will work for me, but I've decided to give it a go, starting with one of my favourite things in the world - food.

As I penned down some of my favourite dishes, I genuinely did feel a little less blue about the weekend ending. I felt thankful for having experienced these gastronomical treats and I savoured memories of my first visit to Meat Liquor in the UK (happy to report they'll be opening up in Singapore this month and I've an entire cookbook of their recipes to try), evening dinners when my mother made delicious oxtail stew, and the joy of chocolate...

If you're interested in getting started on a gratitude journal, here are some of the best practices that may help you reap the most rewards:

1. Make a conscious decision to be happier and grateful. You shouldn't be listing these things down just for the sake of it.
2. The longest list doesn't win. It's not a contest where the person that has the longest list wins. Listing down 1 or 3 things that ring true and deep is better than 10. 
3. Not all things are equally impactful. Apparently, focusing on people to whom you're grateful is better than focusing on things, and unexpected surprises (good ones of course) tend to result in stronger levels of gratitude. 
4. No stress, you don't have to do it every day. Once or twice a week works just as well, since you're less likely to 'burn out'. 

The journal I received has a bunch of lists you can complete or empty pages for you to write freely. You can get something similar from Kikki.K here. Alternatively, just grab an empty notebook and start!

For those who prefer something digital, you can try out an online gratitude journal Thnx4 by the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center. It comes with email reminders and you have the option of keeping it all private. You should know that using Thnx4 means that the data you provide may be used by the centre in their research on social and emotional well-being, which hopefully means more tips and tools for the rest of us to lead happier lives. Participation is voluntary and your data is kept anonymous, but you can opt out at any time!

Not for you? Then maybe try out mobile app Get Gratitude (available for $1.99 on the App Store)  or Happier (free for download here on the Play Store).

Fingers crossed on giving thanks!

(MON)DAY #8: A half-read book is a half-finished love affair.

“A half-read book is a half-finished love affair."

- David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

This year, I set a simple goal for myself – stop accumulating, start completing.

This is my stack of half-finished books and oh, to add on to that, I bought a Kindle last year (or was it the year before?) Did I fully utilise my Kindle? No, in fact, it is lying sadly on my desk - pitiful little electronic thing that has now run out of battery life. (I love it; it is a nifty little thing. It can't replace good ol' books though.) 

Outside work, I have plenty of interests -- outside the sphere of control, that's when I go haywire. Sometimes I get distracted by new ideas that spring up in my head and will somehow not be able to see to the end of some side projects that I have conceptualised. 

I set a few guidelines for myself.... 

1. I try not to buy new stuff, or sign onto the new 'activities'. Every time I am tempted to do so, I will question myself, will this add to the clutter in my room (which could potentially mean inner clutter as well)? If yes, then I won't subscribe to it. 

2. Do I really need to make this trip? It is so easy to decide to spend some money and make an escapade, but do I really, really need it? Will it add to my anxiety when I realise I have overspent? I love travelling, but as I have written before, travelling is a mindset. 

3. Start a bullet journal. The task list gets daunting and it stays. So it will leave you with no choice, but to tackle them. 

4. De-clutter everything and everywhere. I admit, this is still a work-in-progress. No, you don't get a view of my room. 

5. Finish all my books and stop buying new ones (The latter is really hard to keep to. I mean... how can I resist? What I do to manage and reconcile this desire to buy books, is to read the new books first and complete them!)

6. Think you are a perfectionist?  Ignore that, stop putting yourself on a pedestal.  Learn to let go. 

7. Ruminate less... According to a Fast Company article, a lot of times, we are ruminating over failures, and we let negativity overwhelm us and that stalls our progress. For me, in particular, I ruminate over the ideal of the task completion way too much than the actual execution. It is akin to a scenario of a kid thumbing through the pages of the textbook to see how much more he/she has left to go before the chapter is completed.  So, simply start doing. 

8. Work with people / surround yourself with people and friends who are the complete opposite of that; they are sticklers for deadlines and timelines and are just unbelievably disciplined. 

Yes! I'm done with the blogpost. One task off the checklist! I can sleep more soundly tonight. ;) 

P/S: That said, some things and affairs are not meant to be completed. If they suck, they suck.

(MON)DAY #7: Don't Buy That Bag, Buy Time Instead

A friend of mine recently quit her job. Her reasons were unique to her situation: overworked, underpaid and unsatisfied with her work culture and environment, she felt she didn't have the time and energy to focus on things she did want to do - learn something new, live a healthier life. She decided to take a hiatus to achieve those things for herself.

Practical as always, I asked how she managed it. Being without income is a nervewrecking prospect and she probably sensed that in my question.

What she said gave me great food for thought.

I couldn't find a reason to argue with that.  

It's interesting that we are ever so ready to part with our cash for material things - bags and shoes - or even to travel and find temporary escape from our lives, but less willing to spend money to buy ourselves time to build upon ourselves and our lives.

More than anything else, time is something we only have less of as we grow older, so it would seem a more precious commodity than anything material.

I've fallen in love with the idea of time as something to invest or to invest in, so that every day counts towards building a life that I wake up loving and excited about. As I turn 27 this weekend, I am more aware than ever of my desire to build a life I won't want to escape from.

It can manifest in the more 'extreme' form of quitting your job, or a milder version like taking a short sabbatical.

For me, I'm taking baby steps.

Every weekend, I make an effort to invest time in my future. I spend time researching ideas I have to see if any of them have legs. I've made plans to start a Coursera course to learn more about branding and digital.

Each month, I resolve to save up resources so that one day, buying time can be an option.

Maybe next time you think about buying something for yourself, as retail therapy, you can consider buying time for yourself instead.

P.S. Coursera is a platform that partners with top universities around the globe, offering courses on everything from coding to history, for free. Check out what courses they have available here.